Nye's- May 22nd

It takes a special amount of confidence to have this as your website. That’s right, fools, they’re saying. We don’t need photos or a menu, we just need a single phrase: “The Best Bar In America”. Says who, you ask? Says Esquire magazine, that’s who. Glad you asked.

“Everybody says that stepping into Nye's Polonaise is like stepping back in time, and, for once, it's true--to a time before even electricity,” said Esquire writer Chris Jones three years ago. “The walls are paneled, the tables are Formica, and there are people who have worked at Nye's for forty years.” It’s all very accurate. You walk over the Nye’s threshhold and you’re immediately in a parallel universe, one in which the art direction of The Big Lebowski is the basis for an entire reality.

Nye’s is both dimly lit and full of bright colors. The staff isn’t unfriendly, but they’re not about to dish out Minnesota Nice: when we went on Saturday, Becky proceeded to find us a table, but the hostess stopped her and sternly explained the waiting process. (Also in attendance: Peter and Doug, both of whom appreciate a good bar, and the latter of whom wrote this wonderful Nye’s appreciation.)

Though its Best Bar In America award is well known in Minneapolis, the establishment gets less attention for being a restaurant. But it’s the restaurant experience you’ll really appreciate, as you sit down in a gold-glitter booth and eat your mouth-wateringly delicious pierogies. True, you’re also (hopefully) sipping a Grain Belt Premium or Summit and watching the old men at the bar trade stories about working at the Pillsbury factory, but Nye’s isn’t so much a bar as it is a culinary and visceral experience.

You’ll want to visit Nye’s at night, not only because it simply is a nighttime experience, but because you’ll otherwise miss the piano karaoke. It is for this event that you’ll witness “Sweet” Lou Snider play piano while patrons of all ages and backgrounds belt out a Sinatra standard. In fact, the best part about Nye’s in general is that people from all walks of life are treated equally here, as frat boys and grandparents sit next to each other at the bar. Nye’s is a Great Equalizer, an urban populist in which wood-paneled walls and multi-colored lights are unironic and achingly sincere, and hanging there just for you. Just don’t seat yourself.